Some days are just lazy days...whether we want them to be or not. There are just days when we are stuck in our pajamas all day long. Either you and the baby didn't get much sleep, you were up all night doing holiday preparations, or you found yourself unable to stop playing a game or put down a book - as the case may be.
As for me, I often find myself just feeling lazy, tired, and completely unmotivated to do much. On those days, I typically get frustrated that nothing has gotten done around the house, and I still have a long list of things to do. The one joy you can find though, is that your child is clean, bathed, and smartly dressed for the day...even if you haven't been able to get a shower in for the last two days.
The trick, I've realized, is to just to tell yourself that you won't get anything done today, that you are just going to sit around all day and take care of the baby. And then, if by some miracle you sneak a shower in, get a load of laundry done, or even - *gasp*- make the bed! Then you feel like you have actually accomplished something, and you can feel a little better about yourself.
Part of being a mother of a new baby is to realize that not everything is going to go as you have planned it to. That's not to say that you wont have those few rare days when they do go as planned - aren't they the best? - but just be prepared for when they don't happen. And don't feel bad, because seriously...most people do not have a spotless house on a daily basis. At least, not if they have children! :)
Yes, a shorter blog today, but just some things I've been dealing with! Especially with the holiday season coming around. :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Motherhood - a new job
When you have a child, you are thrown into a new job. Sometimes it feels like a complete change in careers, other times it simply adds on to the job you already have. And for many wonderful mothers, they still have to work during the day, and come home to their husbands and children and work again - often through the night. I admire those mothers greatly.
But what comes with this new job? For me, it comes with a lot of joy, definitely stress, hard-work, learning, crying, and sometimes feeling scared and insecure. Like many mothers, the first baby is almost your "trial and error" baby, because you are trying to do everything everyone has told you to do, and then realize none of it works - because, as I've said before, every child is different. So then you learn, and grow together, and slowly work your way into a schedule of sorts. But then, there are those days, when whatever you do - even if it seems to have worked a thousand times before - nothing you do is stopping your child from crying. You wonder if it's your fault, you wonder if they are hurting, and you wish desperately that they could just talk to you and tell you what's wrong. But they can't, and we must struggle to learn patience, long-suffering, and allow our love for them to help us through.
Motherhood, I am learning, is one of THE most stressful jobs on the body I will ever have. Sleep is almost non-existent at times, food is rushed and cold, your back almost constantly aches from lifting, showers are rushed and never alone, and often you find you are losing your hair and grinding your teeth at night. Which, by the way, cause horrible and unwanted headaches during the day. Why didn't our mothers tell us about this? Why weren't we warned? Probably because we wouldn't ever want to have children if we knew. But I am glad they don't tell us - because who would really want to miss out on the infinite joy that comes from your child? A spirit child of our Heavenly Father, given to us to watch over and protect.
I'll admit, there are MANY nights where I cringe when I hear Alex cry, and I simply want to throw my pillow over my head and pretend it's not MY child crying. And often, after dragging myself out of bed to feed him, or change his diaper, I quietly go back to bed and secretly pray that he wont wake up again - at least for another two to three hours. There are times when I feel so apprehensive about him waking up, I end up not getting any sleep because I am so afraid to hear his cry at any moment. Talk about the big stress right there. This is all definitely a learning experience for me. I keep telling myself to just sleep, and not worry about Alex waking up at all - but who will tell my teeth to stop grinding while I sleep?
Motherhood is hard work, it really is a full-time job! No matter what else you do. And there is usually no vacation time from it, no bonuses for it, and definitely very little health benefits from it. But as a new mother, I have hope. I am excited for my child's future, and even secretly desire to have a few more right away. Why would I want more right away? Well, being a mother - even without the parades and praises we should receive for it - does have it's little celebrations. Like watching your baby roll over by themselves for the first time! Or even finally hold their heads up by themselves. I cannot even describe the joy that comes to your heart at those times.
Being a mother is hard....but that is also what makes those small accomplishments so worth it!
But what comes with this new job? For me, it comes with a lot of joy, definitely stress, hard-work, learning, crying, and sometimes feeling scared and insecure. Like many mothers, the first baby is almost your "trial and error" baby, because you are trying to do everything everyone has told you to do, and then realize none of it works - because, as I've said before, every child is different. So then you learn, and grow together, and slowly work your way into a schedule of sorts. But then, there are those days, when whatever you do - even if it seems to have worked a thousand times before - nothing you do is stopping your child from crying. You wonder if it's your fault, you wonder if they are hurting, and you wish desperately that they could just talk to you and tell you what's wrong. But they can't, and we must struggle to learn patience, long-suffering, and allow our love for them to help us through.
Motherhood, I am learning, is one of THE most stressful jobs on the body I will ever have. Sleep is almost non-existent at times, food is rushed and cold, your back almost constantly aches from lifting, showers are rushed and never alone, and often you find you are losing your hair and grinding your teeth at night. Which, by the way, cause horrible and unwanted headaches during the day. Why didn't our mothers tell us about this? Why weren't we warned? Probably because we wouldn't ever want to have children if we knew. But I am glad they don't tell us - because who would really want to miss out on the infinite joy that comes from your child? A spirit child of our Heavenly Father, given to us to watch over and protect.
I'll admit, there are MANY nights where I cringe when I hear Alex cry, and I simply want to throw my pillow over my head and pretend it's not MY child crying. And often, after dragging myself out of bed to feed him, or change his diaper, I quietly go back to bed and secretly pray that he wont wake up again - at least for another two to three hours. There are times when I feel so apprehensive about him waking up, I end up not getting any sleep because I am so afraid to hear his cry at any moment. Talk about the big stress right there. This is all definitely a learning experience for me. I keep telling myself to just sleep, and not worry about Alex waking up at all - but who will tell my teeth to stop grinding while I sleep?
Motherhood is hard work, it really is a full-time job! No matter what else you do. And there is usually no vacation time from it, no bonuses for it, and definitely very little health benefits from it. But as a new mother, I have hope. I am excited for my child's future, and even secretly desire to have a few more right away. Why would I want more right away? Well, being a mother - even without the parades and praises we should receive for it - does have it's little celebrations. Like watching your baby roll over by themselves for the first time! Or even finally hold their heads up by themselves. I cannot even describe the joy that comes to your heart at those times.
Being a mother is hard....but that is also what makes those small accomplishments so worth it!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Leftover Baby Belly
We finally get pregnant, and watch with joy and amazement as our bellies begin to grow with a new small life inside of it. We wait anxiously - and often angrily during the last week or so - for their arrival. And then suddenly, our little bundles of joy are here! We're ecstatic! Elated! And most of all, extremely exhausted. Those first couple of hours with our husband and baby are the best, and one of the greatest bonding experiences we'll ever have.
And then suddenly, during all this joy, you get up to use the bathroom, sit on the toilet and get a good look at your belly. For me, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time! It looked like a wrinkly, stretch mark scarred, deflated balloon. The worst part was that when you stand up, it just hangs there...you can even pick it up and bounce it around. That image still sends shivers down my spine. Everyone tells you that it will go away, your skin will be back to normal soon, and that those stretch marks will simply disappear into thin silvery lines. It has now been nearly three months since I've had Alex...and I still have saggy skin, and lots of ruddy red stretch marks. Apparently, it all doesn't "just go away on their own" and everything goes back to normal - in fact, don't even get me started on my new set of hips! Who knew I would ever have hips. Oh no, the whole process takes almost ANOTHER nine months just to get your body back...and that's usually only if you are working out with it.
Another scare some women may get, is that they finally put their jeans on, maybe a loose fitting top, and think they are looking pretty good. That is, until they come face to face with the mirror...then you take one look and break down crying, saying "OMG! I look like my MOTHER!" No offense to my own mother of course, she said the same thing after her first baby too. And when the tears finally stop, you realize all new mothers are going through the same thing, just on different levels. And then you try to tell yourself that it's okay, this too shall pass. Someday you might get your body back...if you're willing to work out for it of course.
In the end though, when you look at your baby smiling and cooing at you, you know - deep down in that saggy belly of yours - that it really was all worth it, and maybe this is natures way of telling you to get in shape and get healthy. And you bet I'll be writing about my baby belly skin when Alex is about nine months, and letting you know if the belly does go slightly back to normal. ----on a side note, I hardly find the time to work out, so...as sporadic as my work outs are, will also determine how fast I can get my body back. So thanks Mother Nature! Thanks for ruining my pretty belly. ;-)
And then suddenly, during all this joy, you get up to use the bathroom, sit on the toilet and get a good look at your belly. For me, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time! It looked like a wrinkly, stretch mark scarred, deflated balloon. The worst part was that when you stand up, it just hangs there...you can even pick it up and bounce it around. That image still sends shivers down my spine. Everyone tells you that it will go away, your skin will be back to normal soon, and that those stretch marks will simply disappear into thin silvery lines. It has now been nearly three months since I've had Alex...and I still have saggy skin, and lots of ruddy red stretch marks. Apparently, it all doesn't "just go away on their own" and everything goes back to normal - in fact, don't even get me started on my new set of hips! Who knew I would ever have hips. Oh no, the whole process takes almost ANOTHER nine months just to get your body back...and that's usually only if you are working out with it.
Another scare some women may get, is that they finally put their jeans on, maybe a loose fitting top, and think they are looking pretty good. That is, until they come face to face with the mirror...then you take one look and break down crying, saying "OMG! I look like my MOTHER!" No offense to my own mother of course, she said the same thing after her first baby too. And when the tears finally stop, you realize all new mothers are going through the same thing, just on different levels. And then you try to tell yourself that it's okay, this too shall pass. Someday you might get your body back...if you're willing to work out for it of course.
In the end though, when you look at your baby smiling and cooing at you, you know - deep down in that saggy belly of yours - that it really was all worth it, and maybe this is natures way of telling you to get in shape and get healthy. And you bet I'll be writing about my baby belly skin when Alex is about nine months, and letting you know if the belly does go slightly back to normal. ----on a side note, I hardly find the time to work out, so...as sporadic as my work outs are, will also determine how fast I can get my body back. So thanks Mother Nature! Thanks for ruining my pretty belly. ;-)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Baby/Family update
I realized that putting random updates on a facebook status, really isn't a full on update at all! So, amongst my other momma blogging, I'm going to start putting in my family updates as well. Here we go!
Alex is now 11 weeks old, and weighed in at 11 lbs 10 oz and was 23 inches long at his two month check up. He is growing up so fast! He is starting to hold his head up a lot more, loves sitting up or standing up, and absolutely HATES tummy time. He also prefers to be held as much as possible, which, living with the grandparents isn't too hard. I try to keep him on his playmat or in his bouncer as much as possible, but it usually only lasts 10-15 minutes, sometimes less. He has the sweetest demeanor, and is starting to smile a lot more. He is still pretty much a mommy and daddy boy, and doesn't like other people holding him for very long. I try not to worry about that though, because it's just a stage he's in right now. I do worry about his weight gain though! I keep thinking he is not chunky enough yet, or that he needs to weigh more. But, my pediatrician said that he's right on target for the "average" baby weight gain. *sigh* I have an average baby. :) Thank goodness he's not below!
As for Xander, he is still working up on Fort Leavenworth, and absolutely loving his job! Apparently, doing accounting stuff is super exciting for him...thank goodness that's what he is majoring in. We have also been discussing the idea about coming back here after he graduates, and buying a house and settling down in a job on Fort Leavenworth. At first I was completely against it, I wanted us to be away from family and on our own as much as possible. But, if the job Xander gets here is what makes him happy, and he actually enjoys working, then by golly! I am going to learn to LOVE Leavenworth, KS. It really is a black hole. ;)
As for me, I am excited for what the future will bring my budding little family, and where life is going to take us. I love being a mother! I think I mention that quite often. :) But I do; it has it's challenges, it's ups and downs, and it even gets frustrating at times, but it really is so rewarding. I am also scheduling my time a lot better lately, so now I can take at least an hour or two out of my day to work on my writing. Yes, I love to write fantasy stories! It is definitely a passion of mine, and maybe one day I'll get published...or not. :) I would actually have to finish one.
So there you have it. A quick update of the Brown family. I'll be posting some family photos soon too! My wonderful sister Rocky took the pictures for us.
Alex is now 11 weeks old, and weighed in at 11 lbs 10 oz and was 23 inches long at his two month check up. He is growing up so fast! He is starting to hold his head up a lot more, loves sitting up or standing up, and absolutely HATES tummy time. He also prefers to be held as much as possible, which, living with the grandparents isn't too hard. I try to keep him on his playmat or in his bouncer as much as possible, but it usually only lasts 10-15 minutes, sometimes less. He has the sweetest demeanor, and is starting to smile a lot more. He is still pretty much a mommy and daddy boy, and doesn't like other people holding him for very long. I try not to worry about that though, because it's just a stage he's in right now. I do worry about his weight gain though! I keep thinking he is not chunky enough yet, or that he needs to weigh more. But, my pediatrician said that he's right on target for the "average" baby weight gain. *sigh* I have an average baby. :) Thank goodness he's not below!
As for Xander, he is still working up on Fort Leavenworth, and absolutely loving his job! Apparently, doing accounting stuff is super exciting for him...thank goodness that's what he is majoring in. We have also been discussing the idea about coming back here after he graduates, and buying a house and settling down in a job on Fort Leavenworth. At first I was completely against it, I wanted us to be away from family and on our own as much as possible. But, if the job Xander gets here is what makes him happy, and he actually enjoys working, then by golly! I am going to learn to LOVE Leavenworth, KS. It really is a black hole. ;)
As for me, I am excited for what the future will bring my budding little family, and where life is going to take us. I love being a mother! I think I mention that quite often. :) But I do; it has it's challenges, it's ups and downs, and it even gets frustrating at times, but it really is so rewarding. I am also scheduling my time a lot better lately, so now I can take at least an hour or two out of my day to work on my writing. Yes, I love to write fantasy stories! It is definitely a passion of mine, and maybe one day I'll get published...or not. :) I would actually have to finish one.
So there you have it. A quick update of the Brown family. I'll be posting some family photos soon too! My wonderful sister Rocky took the pictures for us.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Art of Breastfeeding
Being able to breastfeed your child takes both time and patience. It can definitely have it's ups and downs, but the rewards are great. I wish to say right now, that just because some are unable to breastfeed or have no desire, there is nothing with those circumstances/choices. We each have different and varying circumstances in our lives, and we learn to deal with them and even work around them.
Breastfeeding Alex has definitely been interesting, even from the very beginning. When Alex came out, they put him right onto my chest and he instantly began "rooting" around on me. Rooting is the term many use to describe when babies start opening and closing their mouths and search around for your nipple. I knew instantly that he was going to be a great breastfeeder! Especially after he latched on so quickly when I did begin feeding him. Everyone warned me about sore nipples, cracking skin, and even swollen breasts once my milk came in. I did experience the sore nipples and swollen breasts, but luckily not the cracking skin. Alex was a great at nursing! And I was instantly rewarded with the joy every mother feels when their child latches onto their breast and then stares up at them with gratitude and love.
As great as Alex was at nursing, when he began sleeping more than eating, and I started losing my milk, it was devestating for me! To know that I couldn't provide for my baby was the worst feeling I've ever had. I felt almost useless and even ashamed that I couldn't give my child food, and that he was starving. We luckily had some formula from the hospital, and used that to sate his hunger pains. It killed me to give him that bottle, and I was hurt that I had allowed my milk to run out. Thankfully I had my mother on hand, and she was able to help me get Alex back on the breast the next day. Since then I have put him on a every 2-3 hour feeding schedule, and pump as often as I can on the side. Thankfully I haven't had a repeat of that episode.
I am grateful that I am able to breastfeed my baby, even though it can get frusterating at times. Breastfeeding has a way of tying you down at times, and puts time limits on most - if not all - activities. It can also be funny and rather annoying qhwn your baby starts playing around with your nipple, their "first toy" as many mothers call it. At first funny, and then annoying when you just want them to eat and get it over with. Breastfeeding can also be painful, especially when they pull away really hard, or when the teeth start coming in and they bite you on accident. In the end though, breastfeeding helps create a special bond between the mother and the baby. It does not take long for babies to know which parent will give them the food, it's almost as if they can smell it on you. Breastfeeding can also become a special time for you and your baby - a quiet time of reflection even. And really, you cannot beat the benefits that come with breastfeeding your baby! There is no duplicating the nutritional benefits that are in your God given breast milk!
I hope those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed do not take offense to this thought process and idea of mine. As I said, it is not for everyone, but I highly recommend it if you can do it.
Breastfeeding Alex has definitely been interesting, even from the very beginning. When Alex came out, they put him right onto my chest and he instantly began "rooting" around on me. Rooting is the term many use to describe when babies start opening and closing their mouths and search around for your nipple. I knew instantly that he was going to be a great breastfeeder! Especially after he latched on so quickly when I did begin feeding him. Everyone warned me about sore nipples, cracking skin, and even swollen breasts once my milk came in. I did experience the sore nipples and swollen breasts, but luckily not the cracking skin. Alex was a great at nursing! And I was instantly rewarded with the joy every mother feels when their child latches onto their breast and then stares up at them with gratitude and love.
As great as Alex was at nursing, when he began sleeping more than eating, and I started losing my milk, it was devestating for me! To know that I couldn't provide for my baby was the worst feeling I've ever had. I felt almost useless and even ashamed that I couldn't give my child food, and that he was starving. We luckily had some formula from the hospital, and used that to sate his hunger pains. It killed me to give him that bottle, and I was hurt that I had allowed my milk to run out. Thankfully I had my mother on hand, and she was able to help me get Alex back on the breast the next day. Since then I have put him on a every 2-3 hour feeding schedule, and pump as often as I can on the side. Thankfully I haven't had a repeat of that episode.
I am grateful that I am able to breastfeed my baby, even though it can get frusterating at times. Breastfeeding has a way of tying you down at times, and puts time limits on most - if not all - activities. It can also be funny and rather annoying qhwn your baby starts playing around with your nipple, their "first toy" as many mothers call it. At first funny, and then annoying when you just want them to eat and get it over with. Breastfeeding can also be painful, especially when they pull away really hard, or when the teeth start coming in and they bite you on accident. In the end though, breastfeeding helps create a special bond between the mother and the baby. It does not take long for babies to know which parent will give them the food, it's almost as if they can smell it on you. Breastfeeding can also become a special time for you and your baby - a quiet time of reflection even. And really, you cannot beat the benefits that come with breastfeeding your baby! There is no duplicating the nutritional benefits that are in your God given breast milk!
I hope those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed do not take offense to this thought process and idea of mine. As I said, it is not for everyone, but I highly recommend it if you can do it.
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Results - or rather, what I did! :)
I guess to start, I should mention the issues I was having. My sweet little Alex, who I thought was just a good baby and sleeping 10 hours every night and taking multiple 2-3 hour naps during the day, was actually just being what many people call a "lazy baby". Now, I didn't think much about it at first, because Alex never complained when he was awake, just ate and went back to sleep. But then last weekend he was suddenly inconsolable, and he would get frusterated while trying to eat - he kept pulling away form the breast and would just cry. I didn't understand what was wrong, I hadn't changed the routine at all, and I was still feeding him for about 15-20 minutes. So I aked my mom and my pediatrician, and we realized that Alex was really almost starving, and my milk supply was starting to run out. So then I had to work through feeding him every hour for two days in a row, so that my milk supply could get back up. And then we had to make sure he was eating for at least 20 minutes on each breast. It was not very fun, believe me, my body was also taking a toll, especially the breasts! And not only that, my uterus was starting hurt too - in case some of you don't know, whenever you breastfeed, your uterus will contract. Some women can feel it, and others don't even notice. I was definitely starting to feel it! :)
So after that whole ordeal, by Tuesday Alex was acting normal again...except the fact that he wouldn't let me put him down and that he would scream if anyone else held him - even my husband. This didn't seem like normal Alex behavior to me, especially when he started staying up crying all night long.
**On a side note, because Xander is off-track for school, we are staying with my parents in Leavenworth, KS, right now and living in their "Mother-in-law" suite on the far side of the house. It's really just one huge bedroom, so Alex is in there with us, and usually sleeps in our bed with us.**
That was when I decided to ask about the "Crying Method" and see if anyone else knew something that perhaps I didn't know about what Alex was going through. So finally, after all of that, this is what I ended up doing:
I fed him, changed his diaper, burped him, and then put him down in his pack and play for the night...after only minutes, he began his loud cries, so I let him cry. After ten minutes, I turned over and tried to soothe him and let him know I was still there, and then turned back and tried to sleep through some of his cries. After doing that for an hour, I finally got up and held him until he pretty much fussed himself to sleep, and then I laid him back down. He slept for two hours and woke up crying again, so I fed him, changed him and burped him and put him back down. He began to cry again, but not as loud, and this time I kept my hand on his stomach and occasionally rubbed his head until he finally fell asleep after another hour. He then slept for five hours before waking up and wanting to eat. Later that day, he actually let others hold him without crying, and he took a few more naps during the day, and was talking and smiling again. I felt I finally had my Alex back.
So really, I don't know why he was crying like he did, but this is my guess as his mother: He was still trying to get his new feeding schedule, he wasn't napping a lot during the day so he was a lot more tired then he let on. And not knowing what was going on and how he was feeling, he just wanted some love and comfort from mom. Whether what I did or how I approached this situation was right or wrong, I felt it was what I needed to do for Alex. So just this morning I watched him and realized that he was his happy and content self again, and we are back on a regular schedule. In the end: MOM KNOWS BEST, And this whole wonderful and often tiring process is just you getting to know your child's personality a little more and a little better. It's really a process of getting to know the baby outside of your womb, and who he or she will eventually become. I hope this helps anyone who may be experiencing the same thing - and I just want to thank everyone again for all their advice! It really did help. :)
So after that whole ordeal, by Tuesday Alex was acting normal again...except the fact that he wouldn't let me put him down and that he would scream if anyone else held him - even my husband. This didn't seem like normal Alex behavior to me, especially when he started staying up crying all night long.
**On a side note, because Xander is off-track for school, we are staying with my parents in Leavenworth, KS, right now and living in their "Mother-in-law" suite on the far side of the house. It's really just one huge bedroom, so Alex is in there with us, and usually sleeps in our bed with us.**
That was when I decided to ask about the "Crying Method" and see if anyone else knew something that perhaps I didn't know about what Alex was going through. So finally, after all of that, this is what I ended up doing:
I fed him, changed his diaper, burped him, and then put him down in his pack and play for the night...after only minutes, he began his loud cries, so I let him cry. After ten minutes, I turned over and tried to soothe him and let him know I was still there, and then turned back and tried to sleep through some of his cries. After doing that for an hour, I finally got up and held him until he pretty much fussed himself to sleep, and then I laid him back down. He slept for two hours and woke up crying again, so I fed him, changed him and burped him and put him back down. He began to cry again, but not as loud, and this time I kept my hand on his stomach and occasionally rubbed his head until he finally fell asleep after another hour. He then slept for five hours before waking up and wanting to eat. Later that day, he actually let others hold him without crying, and he took a few more naps during the day, and was talking and smiling again. I felt I finally had my Alex back.
So really, I don't know why he was crying like he did, but this is my guess as his mother: He was still trying to get his new feeding schedule, he wasn't napping a lot during the day so he was a lot more tired then he let on. And not knowing what was going on and how he was feeling, he just wanted some love and comfort from mom. Whether what I did or how I approached this situation was right or wrong, I felt it was what I needed to do for Alex. So just this morning I watched him and realized that he was his happy and content self again, and we are back on a regular schedule. In the end: MOM KNOWS BEST, And this whole wonderful and often tiring process is just you getting to know your child's personality a little more and a little better. It's really a process of getting to know the baby outside of your womb, and who he or she will eventually become. I hope this helps anyone who may be experiencing the same thing - and I just want to thank everyone again for all their advice! It really did help. :)
Should You Let The Baby Cry?
As many read on facebook, I asked if anyone used the "Crying Method" for their baby. Here are the replies I got (I've taken everyones names off just for privacy reasons):
It didn't work for us. Our baby would really just cry, and cry, and cry. I couldn't let it go on too long. Now though, when I put him in his crib he might stand up on the side and cry for a minute but then he lays down and falls asleep.
I never did it and I don't agree with it. I hope that when little Alex cries you pick up and hold him,because that is what they need is the cuddling and closness of mom. there is no such thing as a spoiled baby, hold him all the time, when the time allows you to. I did with mine and the more physical touch the smarter they are when they grow.also they get big fast,so enjoy all the time you can holding him. Good Luck!!! he is to cute to let cry for to long...LOL Look at that cute face.
Yesterday
I don't agree with it either!! With my first I never let him cry but I spent 3 years without sleep!! And then with my second I learned to keep the baby monitor on and when he cried I would wait 10 min. Then go in... But i didnt start that until after he w...as 6 months old! They stay in bed wurh me or next to my bed until after 6 months! I have a huge fear of them dying in their sleep at so young an age! Plus they have been in my belly for 9 months why would I immediately dump them alone in a room?! When dale got older and I knew his cries I knew when I could wait 15 minutes! LOL because then he would wait ad see if I came in right on queue and if I didn't he'd stop and roll over and go to sleep!! LOL never leave them to "cry it out"... 10 minutes tops because they usually crying for a reason! If they are still crying at 10! Go in! Now both boys sleep perfect !!!
With my very limited experience, I would say there is usually a reason that a baby is crying, especially at this stage. I don't think it is possible to spoil a newborn, so cuddle him as much as you or he wants! Then when he gets a little bit older and learns to manipulate mommy/daddy by crying, then I might try the "Crying Method" and see if it holds any water. Every baby is different!
All I have to say is you have to teach your child how to sleep just like you teach them anything else. How you do that is up to you and shouldn't be judged by anyone. I used a type of cry it out method along with a strict schedule in the beginning and our baby has been sleeping thru since she was 7 months old 7pm til 7am. Every child is diff. do wat u feel is right and wat works for u and ur baby no matter wat anyone says. Good luck to you :)
Our little girl started sleeping 12 hours at night when she was 2 months because we let her cry a little. I read in the book Babywise that babies often cry to wind down not necessarily because they're upset but because they don't know what else to... do. (that is very loosely paraphrased, wish I had the actual quote.) we let her cry for 15 min then we would go in and give her her binky and soothe her a little, without picking her up, and leave. If she kept crying we went back in in another 15 min and did the same thing over again. She never cried for more than 45 min.You can feel good with whatever decision you make because no matter what, you're a good mom and your little sweetie will know you love him. Just try to be consistent with whatever you choose, a bedtime routine helps, and do the same thing every night. Once She cried from 11 at night until 8 in the morning and I was up with her the whole time. It wound have been better for both of us if I had put her down and let her cry a little so she could have a good sleep. Babies don't want to be awake all night, especially new borns because they need so much sleep, but I think they sometimes need to cry a little to figure out how to fall asleep. Like I said, no matter what you choose you're a good mom. Don't let anyone convince you that something you have decided to do for your baby is bad. Mommy knows best!!!!
Enjoy reading all these novels! haha!
Mo, I could never do that. It is my opinion that babies cry when they have a need. They need food, or to be changed or to be comforted. I know for a fact that babies who are not held develop attachment disorders. One of My little girls(you know she... is adopted) was not held or comforted consistently by her birth mother for the first seven months of life and almost died as a result. She was unable to hold food and struggled in every aspect of development. I am grateful that after only one year she completely recovered. Babies need to know that you are there when they need comfort. When Alex is 2 or so and can understand language, he will then need to be taught age appropriate boundaries. I think it makes you feel awful because it is not right for you. Just my opinion. I love you!
I don't think it works when they're super-young! I think it does from, say, maybe a year on....then again, I'm a major softie.
Your kids too young, wait a few months now would be just torture. Work on getting his schedule down and stretching awake times so he sleeps longer during naps and at night.
I hated doing that with my first baby. I would end up sitting outside her door and crying myself until I couldn't handle it anymore and went in and snuggled her. I ended up going with putting her down drowsy but awake and she figured it out!!
It's definitely based on age. Once my second baby was a certain age I would let her cry some. If you eventually decide to do this, just remember there is a difference between crying for a little bit and hysterically screaming. Some parents agree some don't. Your the parent so it ends up being how you want to handle the situation. Just because something worked on my kids I don't assume its best for all. Sometimes babies get overtired and refuse to go to sleep until pure exhaustion makes them. Those make for rough nights.
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and thoughts! I really appreciated it! :)
It didn't work for us. Our baby would really just cry, and cry, and cry. I couldn't let it go on too long. Now though, when I put him in his crib he might stand up on the side and cry for a minute but then he lays down and falls asleep.
I never did it and I don't agree with it. I hope that when little Alex cries you pick up and hold him,because that is what they need is the cuddling and closness of mom. there is no such thing as a spoiled baby, hold him all the time, when the time allows you to. I did with mine and the more physical touch the smarter they are when they grow.also they get big fast,so enjoy all the time you can holding him. Good Luck!!! he is to cute to let cry for to long...LOL Look at that cute face.
Yesterday
I don't agree with it either!! With my first I never let him cry but I spent 3 years without sleep!! And then with my second I learned to keep the baby monitor on and when he cried I would wait 10 min. Then go in... But i didnt start that until after he w...as 6 months old! They stay in bed wurh me or next to my bed until after 6 months! I have a huge fear of them dying in their sleep at so young an age! Plus they have been in my belly for 9 months why would I immediately dump them alone in a room?! When dale got older and I knew his cries I knew when I could wait 15 minutes! LOL because then he would wait ad see if I came in right on queue and if I didn't he'd stop and roll over and go to sleep!! LOL never leave them to "cry it out"... 10 minutes tops because they usually crying for a reason! If they are still crying at 10! Go in! Now both boys sleep perfect !!!
With my very limited experience, I would say there is usually a reason that a baby is crying, especially at this stage. I don't think it is possible to spoil a newborn, so cuddle him as much as you or he wants! Then when he gets a little bit older and learns to manipulate mommy/daddy by crying, then I might try the "Crying Method" and see if it holds any water. Every baby is different!
All I have to say is you have to teach your child how to sleep just like you teach them anything else. How you do that is up to you and shouldn't be judged by anyone. I used a type of cry it out method along with a strict schedule in the beginning and our baby has been sleeping thru since she was 7 months old 7pm til 7am. Every child is diff. do wat u feel is right and wat works for u and ur baby no matter wat anyone says. Good luck to you :)
Our little girl started sleeping 12 hours at night when she was 2 months because we let her cry a little. I read in the book Babywise that babies often cry to wind down not necessarily because they're upset but because they don't know what else to... do. (that is very loosely paraphrased, wish I had the actual quote.) we let her cry for 15 min then we would go in and give her her binky and soothe her a little, without picking her up, and leave. If she kept crying we went back in in another 15 min and did the same thing over again. She never cried for more than 45 min.You can feel good with whatever decision you make because no matter what, you're a good mom and your little sweetie will know you love him. Just try to be consistent with whatever you choose, a bedtime routine helps, and do the same thing every night. Once She cried from 11 at night until 8 in the morning and I was up with her the whole time. It wound have been better for both of us if I had put her down and let her cry a little so she could have a good sleep. Babies don't want to be awake all night, especially new borns because they need so much sleep, but I think they sometimes need to cry a little to figure out how to fall asleep. Like I said, no matter what you choose you're a good mom. Don't let anyone convince you that something you have decided to do for your baby is bad. Mommy knows best!!!!
Enjoy reading all these novels! haha!
Mo, I could never do that. It is my opinion that babies cry when they have a need. They need food, or to be changed or to be comforted. I know for a fact that babies who are not held develop attachment disorders. One of My little girls(you know she... is adopted) was not held or comforted consistently by her birth mother for the first seven months of life and almost died as a result. She was unable to hold food and struggled in every aspect of development. I am grateful that after only one year she completely recovered. Babies need to know that you are there when they need comfort. When Alex is 2 or so and can understand language, he will then need to be taught age appropriate boundaries. I think it makes you feel awful because it is not right for you. Just my opinion. I love you!
I don't think it works when they're super-young! I think it does from, say, maybe a year on....then again, I'm a major softie.
Your kids too young, wait a few months now would be just torture. Work on getting his schedule down and stretching awake times so he sleeps longer during naps and at night.
I hated doing that with my first baby. I would end up sitting outside her door and crying myself until I couldn't handle it anymore and went in and snuggled her. I ended up going with putting her down drowsy but awake and she figured it out!!
It's definitely based on age. Once my second baby was a certain age I would let her cry some. If you eventually decide to do this, just remember there is a difference between crying for a little bit and hysterically screaming. Some parents agree some don't. Your the parent so it ends up being how you want to handle the situation. Just because something worked on my kids I don't assume its best for all. Sometimes babies get overtired and refuse to go to sleep until pure exhaustion makes them. Those make for rough nights.
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and thoughts! I really appreciated it! :)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I've done it...I surrendered to the blogging!
Well, I've done it, I gave in - yielded - surrendered even - to the blogging. I guess to start, one of my main reasons for starting this blog was to get advice and even put out some advice on the challenges, joys, and blessings of motherhood. I realized that I was inadverdently asking for lots of advice from my friends on facebook about a lot of things my little boy, Alex, was doing or should be doing. And that's when the idea came to me...why not just start a blog and ask those questions, and even write about what is happening and how I'm handling the situation! Now, granted, there are no two babies alike in this world, but there are often many you can find similarities with, and with them, you find their mothers.
So yes, I gave to the blog, but I'm hoping it will turn out well; and even if I don't get many readers, I'll at least be able to throw many of my rushing thoughts out there...because being a new mom is so much more than just having a baby...it's also about you as a mom, your changing body and mind, and also about your husband and you raising this child.
So...I guess after all that rambling on up there, what I really have to say is...here are my thoughts and advice on motherhood, and thrown in are some family updates as well. :)
So yes, I gave to the blog, but I'm hoping it will turn out well; and even if I don't get many readers, I'll at least be able to throw many of my rushing thoughts out there...because being a new mom is so much more than just having a baby...it's also about you as a mom, your changing body and mind, and also about your husband and you raising this child.
So...I guess after all that rambling on up there, what I really have to say is...here are my thoughts and advice on motherhood, and thrown in are some family updates as well. :)
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