When you have a child, you are thrown into a new job. Sometimes it feels like a complete change in careers, other times it simply adds on to the job you already have. And for many wonderful mothers, they still have to work during the day, and come home to their husbands and children and work again - often through the night. I admire those mothers greatly.
But what comes with this new job? For me, it comes with a lot of joy, definitely stress, hard-work, learning, crying, and sometimes feeling scared and insecure. Like many mothers, the first baby is almost your "trial and error" baby, because you are trying to do everything everyone has told you to do, and then realize none of it works - because, as I've said before, every child is different. So then you learn, and grow together, and slowly work your way into a schedule of sorts. But then, there are those days, when whatever you do - even if it seems to have worked a thousand times before - nothing you do is stopping your child from crying. You wonder if it's your fault, you wonder if they are hurting, and you wish desperately that they could just talk to you and tell you what's wrong. But they can't, and we must struggle to learn patience, long-suffering, and allow our love for them to help us through.
Motherhood, I am learning, is one of THE most stressful jobs on the body I will ever have. Sleep is almost non-existent at times, food is rushed and cold, your back almost constantly aches from lifting, showers are rushed and never alone, and often you find you are losing your hair and grinding your teeth at night. Which, by the way, cause horrible and unwanted headaches during the day. Why didn't our mothers tell us about this? Why weren't we warned? Probably because we wouldn't ever want to have children if we knew. But I am glad they don't tell us - because who would really want to miss out on the infinite joy that comes from your child? A spirit child of our Heavenly Father, given to us to watch over and protect.
I'll admit, there are MANY nights where I cringe when I hear Alex cry, and I simply want to throw my pillow over my head and pretend it's not MY child crying. And often, after dragging myself out of bed to feed him, or change his diaper, I quietly go back to bed and secretly pray that he wont wake up again - at least for another two to three hours. There are times when I feel so apprehensive about him waking up, I end up not getting any sleep because I am so afraid to hear his cry at any moment. Talk about the big stress right there. This is all definitely a learning experience for me. I keep telling myself to just sleep, and not worry about Alex waking up at all - but who will tell my teeth to stop grinding while I sleep?
Motherhood is hard work, it really is a full-time job! No matter what else you do. And there is usually no vacation time from it, no bonuses for it, and definitely very little health benefits from it. But as a new mother, I have hope. I am excited for my child's future, and even secretly desire to have a few more right away. Why would I want more right away? Well, being a mother - even without the parades and praises we should receive for it - does have it's little celebrations. Like watching your baby roll over by themselves for the first time! Or even finally hold their heads up by themselves. I cannot even describe the joy that comes to your heart at those times.
Being a mother is hard....but that is also what makes those small accomplishments so worth it!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Leftover Baby Belly
We finally get pregnant, and watch with joy and amazement as our bellies begin to grow with a new small life inside of it. We wait anxiously - and often angrily during the last week or so - for their arrival. And then suddenly, our little bundles of joy are here! We're ecstatic! Elated! And most of all, extremely exhausted. Those first couple of hours with our husband and baby are the best, and one of the greatest bonding experiences we'll ever have.
And then suddenly, during all this joy, you get up to use the bathroom, sit on the toilet and get a good look at your belly. For me, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time! It looked like a wrinkly, stretch mark scarred, deflated balloon. The worst part was that when you stand up, it just hangs there...you can even pick it up and bounce it around. That image still sends shivers down my spine. Everyone tells you that it will go away, your skin will be back to normal soon, and that those stretch marks will simply disappear into thin silvery lines. It has now been nearly three months since I've had Alex...and I still have saggy skin, and lots of ruddy red stretch marks. Apparently, it all doesn't "just go away on their own" and everything goes back to normal - in fact, don't even get me started on my new set of hips! Who knew I would ever have hips. Oh no, the whole process takes almost ANOTHER nine months just to get your body back...and that's usually only if you are working out with it.
Another scare some women may get, is that they finally put their jeans on, maybe a loose fitting top, and think they are looking pretty good. That is, until they come face to face with the mirror...then you take one look and break down crying, saying "OMG! I look like my MOTHER!" No offense to my own mother of course, she said the same thing after her first baby too. And when the tears finally stop, you realize all new mothers are going through the same thing, just on different levels. And then you try to tell yourself that it's okay, this too shall pass. Someday you might get your body back...if you're willing to work out for it of course.
In the end though, when you look at your baby smiling and cooing at you, you know - deep down in that saggy belly of yours - that it really was all worth it, and maybe this is natures way of telling you to get in shape and get healthy. And you bet I'll be writing about my baby belly skin when Alex is about nine months, and letting you know if the belly does go slightly back to normal. ----on a side note, I hardly find the time to work out, so...as sporadic as my work outs are, will also determine how fast I can get my body back. So thanks Mother Nature! Thanks for ruining my pretty belly. ;-)
And then suddenly, during all this joy, you get up to use the bathroom, sit on the toilet and get a good look at your belly. For me, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time! It looked like a wrinkly, stretch mark scarred, deflated balloon. The worst part was that when you stand up, it just hangs there...you can even pick it up and bounce it around. That image still sends shivers down my spine. Everyone tells you that it will go away, your skin will be back to normal soon, and that those stretch marks will simply disappear into thin silvery lines. It has now been nearly three months since I've had Alex...and I still have saggy skin, and lots of ruddy red stretch marks. Apparently, it all doesn't "just go away on their own" and everything goes back to normal - in fact, don't even get me started on my new set of hips! Who knew I would ever have hips. Oh no, the whole process takes almost ANOTHER nine months just to get your body back...and that's usually only if you are working out with it.
Another scare some women may get, is that they finally put their jeans on, maybe a loose fitting top, and think they are looking pretty good. That is, until they come face to face with the mirror...then you take one look and break down crying, saying "OMG! I look like my MOTHER!" No offense to my own mother of course, she said the same thing after her first baby too. And when the tears finally stop, you realize all new mothers are going through the same thing, just on different levels. And then you try to tell yourself that it's okay, this too shall pass. Someday you might get your body back...if you're willing to work out for it of course.
In the end though, when you look at your baby smiling and cooing at you, you know - deep down in that saggy belly of yours - that it really was all worth it, and maybe this is natures way of telling you to get in shape and get healthy. And you bet I'll be writing about my baby belly skin when Alex is about nine months, and letting you know if the belly does go slightly back to normal. ----on a side note, I hardly find the time to work out, so...as sporadic as my work outs are, will also determine how fast I can get my body back. So thanks Mother Nature! Thanks for ruining my pretty belly. ;-)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Baby/Family update
I realized that putting random updates on a facebook status, really isn't a full on update at all! So, amongst my other momma blogging, I'm going to start putting in my family updates as well. Here we go!
Alex is now 11 weeks old, and weighed in at 11 lbs 10 oz and was 23 inches long at his two month check up. He is growing up so fast! He is starting to hold his head up a lot more, loves sitting up or standing up, and absolutely HATES tummy time. He also prefers to be held as much as possible, which, living with the grandparents isn't too hard. I try to keep him on his playmat or in his bouncer as much as possible, but it usually only lasts 10-15 minutes, sometimes less. He has the sweetest demeanor, and is starting to smile a lot more. He is still pretty much a mommy and daddy boy, and doesn't like other people holding him for very long. I try not to worry about that though, because it's just a stage he's in right now. I do worry about his weight gain though! I keep thinking he is not chunky enough yet, or that he needs to weigh more. But, my pediatrician said that he's right on target for the "average" baby weight gain. *sigh* I have an average baby. :) Thank goodness he's not below!
As for Xander, he is still working up on Fort Leavenworth, and absolutely loving his job! Apparently, doing accounting stuff is super exciting for him...thank goodness that's what he is majoring in. We have also been discussing the idea about coming back here after he graduates, and buying a house and settling down in a job on Fort Leavenworth. At first I was completely against it, I wanted us to be away from family and on our own as much as possible. But, if the job Xander gets here is what makes him happy, and he actually enjoys working, then by golly! I am going to learn to LOVE Leavenworth, KS. It really is a black hole. ;)
As for me, I am excited for what the future will bring my budding little family, and where life is going to take us. I love being a mother! I think I mention that quite often. :) But I do; it has it's challenges, it's ups and downs, and it even gets frustrating at times, but it really is so rewarding. I am also scheduling my time a lot better lately, so now I can take at least an hour or two out of my day to work on my writing. Yes, I love to write fantasy stories! It is definitely a passion of mine, and maybe one day I'll get published...or not. :) I would actually have to finish one.
So there you have it. A quick update of the Brown family. I'll be posting some family photos soon too! My wonderful sister Rocky took the pictures for us.
Alex is now 11 weeks old, and weighed in at 11 lbs 10 oz and was 23 inches long at his two month check up. He is growing up so fast! He is starting to hold his head up a lot more, loves sitting up or standing up, and absolutely HATES tummy time. He also prefers to be held as much as possible, which, living with the grandparents isn't too hard. I try to keep him on his playmat or in his bouncer as much as possible, but it usually only lasts 10-15 minutes, sometimes less. He has the sweetest demeanor, and is starting to smile a lot more. He is still pretty much a mommy and daddy boy, and doesn't like other people holding him for very long. I try not to worry about that though, because it's just a stage he's in right now. I do worry about his weight gain though! I keep thinking he is not chunky enough yet, or that he needs to weigh more. But, my pediatrician said that he's right on target for the "average" baby weight gain. *sigh* I have an average baby. :) Thank goodness he's not below!
As for Xander, he is still working up on Fort Leavenworth, and absolutely loving his job! Apparently, doing accounting stuff is super exciting for him...thank goodness that's what he is majoring in. We have also been discussing the idea about coming back here after he graduates, and buying a house and settling down in a job on Fort Leavenworth. At first I was completely against it, I wanted us to be away from family and on our own as much as possible. But, if the job Xander gets here is what makes him happy, and he actually enjoys working, then by golly! I am going to learn to LOVE Leavenworth, KS. It really is a black hole. ;)
As for me, I am excited for what the future will bring my budding little family, and where life is going to take us. I love being a mother! I think I mention that quite often. :) But I do; it has it's challenges, it's ups and downs, and it even gets frustrating at times, but it really is so rewarding. I am also scheduling my time a lot better lately, so now I can take at least an hour or two out of my day to work on my writing. Yes, I love to write fantasy stories! It is definitely a passion of mine, and maybe one day I'll get published...or not. :) I would actually have to finish one.
So there you have it. A quick update of the Brown family. I'll be posting some family photos soon too! My wonderful sister Rocky took the pictures for us.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Art of Breastfeeding
Being able to breastfeed your child takes both time and patience. It can definitely have it's ups and downs, but the rewards are great. I wish to say right now, that just because some are unable to breastfeed or have no desire, there is nothing with those circumstances/choices. We each have different and varying circumstances in our lives, and we learn to deal with them and even work around them.
Breastfeeding Alex has definitely been interesting, even from the very beginning. When Alex came out, they put him right onto my chest and he instantly began "rooting" around on me. Rooting is the term many use to describe when babies start opening and closing their mouths and search around for your nipple. I knew instantly that he was going to be a great breastfeeder! Especially after he latched on so quickly when I did begin feeding him. Everyone warned me about sore nipples, cracking skin, and even swollen breasts once my milk came in. I did experience the sore nipples and swollen breasts, but luckily not the cracking skin. Alex was a great at nursing! And I was instantly rewarded with the joy every mother feels when their child latches onto their breast and then stares up at them with gratitude and love.
As great as Alex was at nursing, when he began sleeping more than eating, and I started losing my milk, it was devestating for me! To know that I couldn't provide for my baby was the worst feeling I've ever had. I felt almost useless and even ashamed that I couldn't give my child food, and that he was starving. We luckily had some formula from the hospital, and used that to sate his hunger pains. It killed me to give him that bottle, and I was hurt that I had allowed my milk to run out. Thankfully I had my mother on hand, and she was able to help me get Alex back on the breast the next day. Since then I have put him on a every 2-3 hour feeding schedule, and pump as often as I can on the side. Thankfully I haven't had a repeat of that episode.
I am grateful that I am able to breastfeed my baby, even though it can get frusterating at times. Breastfeeding has a way of tying you down at times, and puts time limits on most - if not all - activities. It can also be funny and rather annoying qhwn your baby starts playing around with your nipple, their "first toy" as many mothers call it. At first funny, and then annoying when you just want them to eat and get it over with. Breastfeeding can also be painful, especially when they pull away really hard, or when the teeth start coming in and they bite you on accident. In the end though, breastfeeding helps create a special bond between the mother and the baby. It does not take long for babies to know which parent will give them the food, it's almost as if they can smell it on you. Breastfeeding can also become a special time for you and your baby - a quiet time of reflection even. And really, you cannot beat the benefits that come with breastfeeding your baby! There is no duplicating the nutritional benefits that are in your God given breast milk!
I hope those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed do not take offense to this thought process and idea of mine. As I said, it is not for everyone, but I highly recommend it if you can do it.
Breastfeeding Alex has definitely been interesting, even from the very beginning. When Alex came out, they put him right onto my chest and he instantly began "rooting" around on me. Rooting is the term many use to describe when babies start opening and closing their mouths and search around for your nipple. I knew instantly that he was going to be a great breastfeeder! Especially after he latched on so quickly when I did begin feeding him. Everyone warned me about sore nipples, cracking skin, and even swollen breasts once my milk came in. I did experience the sore nipples and swollen breasts, but luckily not the cracking skin. Alex was a great at nursing! And I was instantly rewarded with the joy every mother feels when their child latches onto their breast and then stares up at them with gratitude and love.
As great as Alex was at nursing, when he began sleeping more than eating, and I started losing my milk, it was devestating for me! To know that I couldn't provide for my baby was the worst feeling I've ever had. I felt almost useless and even ashamed that I couldn't give my child food, and that he was starving. We luckily had some formula from the hospital, and used that to sate his hunger pains. It killed me to give him that bottle, and I was hurt that I had allowed my milk to run out. Thankfully I had my mother on hand, and she was able to help me get Alex back on the breast the next day. Since then I have put him on a every 2-3 hour feeding schedule, and pump as often as I can on the side. Thankfully I haven't had a repeat of that episode.
I am grateful that I am able to breastfeed my baby, even though it can get frusterating at times. Breastfeeding has a way of tying you down at times, and puts time limits on most - if not all - activities. It can also be funny and rather annoying qhwn your baby starts playing around with your nipple, their "first toy" as many mothers call it. At first funny, and then annoying when you just want them to eat and get it over with. Breastfeeding can also be painful, especially when they pull away really hard, or when the teeth start coming in and they bite you on accident. In the end though, breastfeeding helps create a special bond between the mother and the baby. It does not take long for babies to know which parent will give them the food, it's almost as if they can smell it on you. Breastfeeding can also become a special time for you and your baby - a quiet time of reflection even. And really, you cannot beat the benefits that come with breastfeeding your baby! There is no duplicating the nutritional benefits that are in your God given breast milk!
I hope those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed do not take offense to this thought process and idea of mine. As I said, it is not for everyone, but I highly recommend it if you can do it.
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