I guess to start, I should mention the issues I was having. My sweet little Alex, who I thought was just a good baby and sleeping 10 hours every night and taking multiple 2-3 hour naps during the day, was actually just being what many people call a "lazy baby". Now, I didn't think much about it at first, because Alex never complained when he was awake, just ate and went back to sleep. But then last weekend he was suddenly inconsolable, and he would get frusterated while trying to eat - he kept pulling away form the breast and would just cry. I didn't understand what was wrong, I hadn't changed the routine at all, and I was still feeding him for about 15-20 minutes. So I aked my mom and my pediatrician, and we realized that Alex was really almost starving, and my milk supply was starting to run out. So then I had to work through feeding him every hour for two days in a row, so that my milk supply could get back up. And then we had to make sure he was eating for at least 20 minutes on each breast. It was not very fun, believe me, my body was also taking a toll, especially the breasts! And not only that, my uterus was starting hurt too - in case some of you don't know, whenever you breastfeed, your uterus will contract. Some women can feel it, and others don't even notice. I was definitely starting to feel it! :)
So after that whole ordeal, by Tuesday Alex was acting normal again...except the fact that he wouldn't let me put him down and that he would scream if anyone else held him - even my husband. This didn't seem like normal Alex behavior to me, especially when he started staying up crying all night long.
**On a side note, because Xander is off-track for school, we are staying with my parents in Leavenworth, KS, right now and living in their "Mother-in-law" suite on the far side of the house. It's really just one huge bedroom, so Alex is in there with us, and usually sleeps in our bed with us.**
That was when I decided to ask about the "Crying Method" and see if anyone else knew something that perhaps I didn't know about what Alex was going through. So finally, after all of that, this is what I ended up doing:
I fed him, changed his diaper, burped him, and then put him down in his pack and play for the night...after only minutes, he began his loud cries, so I let him cry. After ten minutes, I turned over and tried to soothe him and let him know I was still there, and then turned back and tried to sleep through some of his cries. After doing that for an hour, I finally got up and held him until he pretty much fussed himself to sleep, and then I laid him back down. He slept for two hours and woke up crying again, so I fed him, changed him and burped him and put him back down. He began to cry again, but not as loud, and this time I kept my hand on his stomach and occasionally rubbed his head until he finally fell asleep after another hour. He then slept for five hours before waking up and wanting to eat. Later that day, he actually let others hold him without crying, and he took a few more naps during the day, and was talking and smiling again. I felt I finally had my Alex back.
So really, I don't know why he was crying like he did, but this is my guess as his mother: He was still trying to get his new feeding schedule, he wasn't napping a lot during the day so he was a lot more tired then he let on. And not knowing what was going on and how he was feeling, he just wanted some love and comfort from mom. Whether what I did or how I approached this situation was right or wrong, I felt it was what I needed to do for Alex. So just this morning I watched him and realized that he was his happy and content self again, and we are back on a regular schedule. In the end: MOM KNOWS BEST, And this whole wonderful and often tiring process is just you getting to know your child's personality a little more and a little better. It's really a process of getting to know the baby outside of your womb, and who he or she will eventually become. I hope this helps anyone who may be experiencing the same thing - and I just want to thank everyone again for all their advice! It really did help. :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Should You Let The Baby Cry?
As many read on facebook, I asked if anyone used the "Crying Method" for their baby. Here are the replies I got (I've taken everyones names off just for privacy reasons):
It didn't work for us. Our baby would really just cry, and cry, and cry. I couldn't let it go on too long. Now though, when I put him in his crib he might stand up on the side and cry for a minute but then he lays down and falls asleep.
I never did it and I don't agree with it. I hope that when little Alex cries you pick up and hold him,because that is what they need is the cuddling and closness of mom. there is no such thing as a spoiled baby, hold him all the time, when the time allows you to. I did with mine and the more physical touch the smarter they are when they grow.also they get big fast,so enjoy all the time you can holding him. Good Luck!!! he is to cute to let cry for to long...LOL Look at that cute face.
Yesterday
I don't agree with it either!! With my first I never let him cry but I spent 3 years without sleep!! And then with my second I learned to keep the baby monitor on and when he cried I would wait 10 min. Then go in... But i didnt start that until after he w...as 6 months old! They stay in bed wurh me or next to my bed until after 6 months! I have a huge fear of them dying in their sleep at so young an age! Plus they have been in my belly for 9 months why would I immediately dump them alone in a room?! When dale got older and I knew his cries I knew when I could wait 15 minutes! LOL because then he would wait ad see if I came in right on queue and if I didn't he'd stop and roll over and go to sleep!! LOL never leave them to "cry it out"... 10 minutes tops because they usually crying for a reason! If they are still crying at 10! Go in! Now both boys sleep perfect !!!
With my very limited experience, I would say there is usually a reason that a baby is crying, especially at this stage. I don't think it is possible to spoil a newborn, so cuddle him as much as you or he wants! Then when he gets a little bit older and learns to manipulate mommy/daddy by crying, then I might try the "Crying Method" and see if it holds any water. Every baby is different!
All I have to say is you have to teach your child how to sleep just like you teach them anything else. How you do that is up to you and shouldn't be judged by anyone. I used a type of cry it out method along with a strict schedule in the beginning and our baby has been sleeping thru since she was 7 months old 7pm til 7am. Every child is diff. do wat u feel is right and wat works for u and ur baby no matter wat anyone says. Good luck to you :)
Our little girl started sleeping 12 hours at night when she was 2 months because we let her cry a little. I read in the book Babywise that babies often cry to wind down not necessarily because they're upset but because they don't know what else to... do. (that is very loosely paraphrased, wish I had the actual quote.) we let her cry for 15 min then we would go in and give her her binky and soothe her a little, without picking her up, and leave. If she kept crying we went back in in another 15 min and did the same thing over again. She never cried for more than 45 min.You can feel good with whatever decision you make because no matter what, you're a good mom and your little sweetie will know you love him. Just try to be consistent with whatever you choose, a bedtime routine helps, and do the same thing every night. Once She cried from 11 at night until 8 in the morning and I was up with her the whole time. It wound have been better for both of us if I had put her down and let her cry a little so she could have a good sleep. Babies don't want to be awake all night, especially new borns because they need so much sleep, but I think they sometimes need to cry a little to figure out how to fall asleep. Like I said, no matter what you choose you're a good mom. Don't let anyone convince you that something you have decided to do for your baby is bad. Mommy knows best!!!!
Enjoy reading all these novels! haha!
Mo, I could never do that. It is my opinion that babies cry when they have a need. They need food, or to be changed or to be comforted. I know for a fact that babies who are not held develop attachment disorders. One of My little girls(you know she... is adopted) was not held or comforted consistently by her birth mother for the first seven months of life and almost died as a result. She was unable to hold food and struggled in every aspect of development. I am grateful that after only one year she completely recovered. Babies need to know that you are there when they need comfort. When Alex is 2 or so and can understand language, he will then need to be taught age appropriate boundaries. I think it makes you feel awful because it is not right for you. Just my opinion. I love you!
I don't think it works when they're super-young! I think it does from, say, maybe a year on....then again, I'm a major softie.
Your kids too young, wait a few months now would be just torture. Work on getting his schedule down and stretching awake times so he sleeps longer during naps and at night.
I hated doing that with my first baby. I would end up sitting outside her door and crying myself until I couldn't handle it anymore and went in and snuggled her. I ended up going with putting her down drowsy but awake and she figured it out!!
It's definitely based on age. Once my second baby was a certain age I would let her cry some. If you eventually decide to do this, just remember there is a difference between crying for a little bit and hysterically screaming. Some parents agree some don't. Your the parent so it ends up being how you want to handle the situation. Just because something worked on my kids I don't assume its best for all. Sometimes babies get overtired and refuse to go to sleep until pure exhaustion makes them. Those make for rough nights.
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and thoughts! I really appreciated it! :)
It didn't work for us. Our baby would really just cry, and cry, and cry. I couldn't let it go on too long. Now though, when I put him in his crib he might stand up on the side and cry for a minute but then he lays down and falls asleep.
I never did it and I don't agree with it. I hope that when little Alex cries you pick up and hold him,because that is what they need is the cuddling and closness of mom. there is no such thing as a spoiled baby, hold him all the time, when the time allows you to. I did with mine and the more physical touch the smarter they are when they grow.also they get big fast,so enjoy all the time you can holding him. Good Luck!!! he is to cute to let cry for to long...LOL Look at that cute face.
Yesterday
I don't agree with it either!! With my first I never let him cry but I spent 3 years without sleep!! And then with my second I learned to keep the baby monitor on and when he cried I would wait 10 min. Then go in... But i didnt start that until after he w...as 6 months old! They stay in bed wurh me or next to my bed until after 6 months! I have a huge fear of them dying in their sleep at so young an age! Plus they have been in my belly for 9 months why would I immediately dump them alone in a room?! When dale got older and I knew his cries I knew when I could wait 15 minutes! LOL because then he would wait ad see if I came in right on queue and if I didn't he'd stop and roll over and go to sleep!! LOL never leave them to "cry it out"... 10 minutes tops because they usually crying for a reason! If they are still crying at 10! Go in! Now both boys sleep perfect !!!
With my very limited experience, I would say there is usually a reason that a baby is crying, especially at this stage. I don't think it is possible to spoil a newborn, so cuddle him as much as you or he wants! Then when he gets a little bit older and learns to manipulate mommy/daddy by crying, then I might try the "Crying Method" and see if it holds any water. Every baby is different!
All I have to say is you have to teach your child how to sleep just like you teach them anything else. How you do that is up to you and shouldn't be judged by anyone. I used a type of cry it out method along with a strict schedule in the beginning and our baby has been sleeping thru since she was 7 months old 7pm til 7am. Every child is diff. do wat u feel is right and wat works for u and ur baby no matter wat anyone says. Good luck to you :)
Our little girl started sleeping 12 hours at night when she was 2 months because we let her cry a little. I read in the book Babywise that babies often cry to wind down not necessarily because they're upset but because they don't know what else to... do. (that is very loosely paraphrased, wish I had the actual quote.) we let her cry for 15 min then we would go in and give her her binky and soothe her a little, without picking her up, and leave. If she kept crying we went back in in another 15 min and did the same thing over again. She never cried for more than 45 min.You can feel good with whatever decision you make because no matter what, you're a good mom and your little sweetie will know you love him. Just try to be consistent with whatever you choose, a bedtime routine helps, and do the same thing every night. Once She cried from 11 at night until 8 in the morning and I was up with her the whole time. It wound have been better for both of us if I had put her down and let her cry a little so she could have a good sleep. Babies don't want to be awake all night, especially new borns because they need so much sleep, but I think they sometimes need to cry a little to figure out how to fall asleep. Like I said, no matter what you choose you're a good mom. Don't let anyone convince you that something you have decided to do for your baby is bad. Mommy knows best!!!!
Enjoy reading all these novels! haha!
Mo, I could never do that. It is my opinion that babies cry when they have a need. They need food, or to be changed or to be comforted. I know for a fact that babies who are not held develop attachment disorders. One of My little girls(you know she... is adopted) was not held or comforted consistently by her birth mother for the first seven months of life and almost died as a result. She was unable to hold food and struggled in every aspect of development. I am grateful that after only one year she completely recovered. Babies need to know that you are there when they need comfort. When Alex is 2 or so and can understand language, he will then need to be taught age appropriate boundaries. I think it makes you feel awful because it is not right for you. Just my opinion. I love you!
I don't think it works when they're super-young! I think it does from, say, maybe a year on....then again, I'm a major softie.
Your kids too young, wait a few months now would be just torture. Work on getting his schedule down and stretching awake times so he sleeps longer during naps and at night.
I hated doing that with my first baby. I would end up sitting outside her door and crying myself until I couldn't handle it anymore and went in and snuggled her. I ended up going with putting her down drowsy but awake and she figured it out!!
It's definitely based on age. Once my second baby was a certain age I would let her cry some. If you eventually decide to do this, just remember there is a difference between crying for a little bit and hysterically screaming. Some parents agree some don't. Your the parent so it ends up being how you want to handle the situation. Just because something worked on my kids I don't assume its best for all. Sometimes babies get overtired and refuse to go to sleep until pure exhaustion makes them. Those make for rough nights.
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and thoughts! I really appreciated it! :)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I've done it...I surrendered to the blogging!
Well, I've done it, I gave in - yielded - surrendered even - to the blogging. I guess to start, one of my main reasons for starting this blog was to get advice and even put out some advice on the challenges, joys, and blessings of motherhood. I realized that I was inadverdently asking for lots of advice from my friends on facebook about a lot of things my little boy, Alex, was doing or should be doing. And that's when the idea came to me...why not just start a blog and ask those questions, and even write about what is happening and how I'm handling the situation! Now, granted, there are no two babies alike in this world, but there are often many you can find similarities with, and with them, you find their mothers.
So yes, I gave to the blog, but I'm hoping it will turn out well; and even if I don't get many readers, I'll at least be able to throw many of my rushing thoughts out there...because being a new mom is so much more than just having a baby...it's also about you as a mom, your changing body and mind, and also about your husband and you raising this child.
So...I guess after all that rambling on up there, what I really have to say is...here are my thoughts and advice on motherhood, and thrown in are some family updates as well. :)
So yes, I gave to the blog, but I'm hoping it will turn out well; and even if I don't get many readers, I'll at least be able to throw many of my rushing thoughts out there...because being a new mom is so much more than just having a baby...it's also about you as a mom, your changing body and mind, and also about your husband and you raising this child.
So...I guess after all that rambling on up there, what I really have to say is...here are my thoughts and advice on motherhood, and thrown in are some family updates as well. :)
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