After a long battle with myself over whether or not I should continue breastfeeding Alex, I have decided to call it quits. This has been a true struggle for me, because the entire time I felt like I need to be ashamed for even considering stopping. I felt as though all of my family members and few friends were going to ridicule me, or worse, lecture me about being a selfish mother. After all, I was told that "A baby should be breastfed until at least a year old." "If you can breastfeed your child than do it! They get more nutrition from you than anywhere else." Even now, it still scares me to stop breastfeeding Alex. He is, after all, just eight months old now.
However, this past month has been a very hard struggle for me with breastfeeding. Mainly I feel Alex knows he doesn't have to eat his baby food, because he knows he'll get food from me later. He has also begun to grab at my shirt and try to pull it down to eat from me. That is the most annoying and embarressing thing EVER! And I don't want him to EVER think he can do that to me - especially in public. Some mothers may laugh and say it's cute, funny, or just him showing he knows where the food comes from. But for me, it's bothersome and embarressing. Also, he has been THE most distracted breastfeeder ever! He just doesn't eat like he used to. Except at night, when he's half asleep anyways.
So, today I've decided that it is going to be best for both of us if I start weaning him off of me. I'll start doing some formula to compensate, at least until he's a year old. But I am hoping he will be completely weaned off of me by the time he is 9 to 10 months old. Definitely off of me completely by 10 months though. And yes, this really was a tough decision. Because I do love feeding him from me - there is something so tender and sweet in those moments, and I'll never forget them. But, when it gets annoying and frustrating for both people, it's time to stop.
So, ridicule and shun me all you want! I am refusing to budge from this decision. I know it is going to be what is best for both me and Alex.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
To eat, or not to eat...
Feeding Alex baby food has definitely been a struggle for me. I keep hearing all of these stories from my friends who have or have had babies, that they just LOVED their baby food, and it was so much fun feeding them. I am not so lucky. Alex hates his baby food - unless of course it's sweet potatoes, banana mango smoothie, or oatmeal. Those are the only things he likes to eat with vigor. Not a very healthy diet alone, so other things must be forced upon him.
He is a VERY stubborn boy! (No question where he gets THAT from, I know.) And He keeps his mouth tightly shut when he doesn't like what we're feeding him. We have to pursuade him to open his mouth by making him laugh, blowing in his face, or even try to pry it open with his spoon. It has been a struggle trying to feed him - he just doesn't like anything but me. And, as flattering as that is, he is also becoming a horribly distracted nurser. He eats for 3-4 minutes then pulls away and wants to crawl away. It worries me that he may not be getting enough nourishment, or even enough to drink. Did I mention he also HATES his juice? What kind of a kid hates juice?? Oh wait, Mine does. At least he likes water well enough. Thank goodness for that!
Anyways, it has all been in vain it seems, and I can't comprehend in the least what that kid of mine is thinking. I can't believe I birthed such a picky eater! For pete's sake, I love food! And so does Xander, so why does our son hate it? *sigh* It is definitely frustrating for me...and I am trying so hard to understand what he wants, and how I can make sure he is getting enough to eat. Maybe, since he is teething really bad, that is the reason. I just don't know yet, but I am losing heart everytime he refuses to eat. Hopefully we can try better as time goes on. And hopefully this is just a phase he is going through. We'll find out. Anyways, just me venting some frustrations.
He is a VERY stubborn boy! (No question where he gets THAT from, I know.) And He keeps his mouth tightly shut when he doesn't like what we're feeding him. We have to pursuade him to open his mouth by making him laugh, blowing in his face, or even try to pry it open with his spoon. It has been a struggle trying to feed him - he just doesn't like anything but me. And, as flattering as that is, he is also becoming a horribly distracted nurser. He eats for 3-4 minutes then pulls away and wants to crawl away. It worries me that he may not be getting enough nourishment, or even enough to drink. Did I mention he also HATES his juice? What kind of a kid hates juice?? Oh wait, Mine does. At least he likes water well enough. Thank goodness for that!
Anyways, it has all been in vain it seems, and I can't comprehend in the least what that kid of mine is thinking. I can't believe I birthed such a picky eater! For pete's sake, I love food! And so does Xander, so why does our son hate it? *sigh* It is definitely frustrating for me...and I am trying so hard to understand what he wants, and how I can make sure he is getting enough to eat. Maybe, since he is teething really bad, that is the reason. I just don't know yet, but I am losing heart everytime he refuses to eat. Hopefully we can try better as time goes on. And hopefully this is just a phase he is going through. We'll find out. Anyways, just me venting some frustrations.
Monday, April 18, 2011
It's been a while.....
So, it has definitely been a LONG time since I last blogged...I feel as though I should apologize, but I really see no reason too. :) For a quick life update, we are now back in Rexburg, ID, and Xander finished up the semester on the 9th, and is getting ready to start the next one tomorrow.
Alex and I have been through a LOT these past three and a half months. Especially when going from tons of family around to just mom in a little over 3 days time, it is a LOT to adjust to. Alex had to learn that he wasn't going to get as much attention 24/7, and I had to almost re-learn how to take care of my own baby, without any helpers. Through lots of tears, frustration, screaming and crying - I've made it through. ;) Oh, and Alex too. It has actually been quite a fun experience for me though, and I can say that now that we have all adjusted of course. I feel like I know Alex a lot better than before; I also feel more confident when making decisions for him. I will admit, there are still many times when I get frustrated with him, and just want him to "Do what Mommy says! No questions." But then I have to remind myself that he is just a baby, and hasn't a clue what I'm talking about yet. I know he understands some things, and is understanding more everyday, so I am the one who just has to be patient. Which is very hard for me.
One thing is definitely for certain. Motherhood is no walk in the park. And more often then not, you always seem to end up the "bad guy" at least once or twice a day. Understanding that a baby's wants are his needs has also been hard for me. Because I have to tell myself that he may WANT to eat the TV and computer cords, but it is better that he not. Motherhood is also a very unselfish calling. There really isn't any room for selfishness when raising a baby! Because they take up all of your time and attention. So yes, I have learned and re-learned a lot these past couple of months, and am still alive to tell it all. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into blogging a bit more, especially as I get a nice routine down for Alex. In the meantime, here are some pictures and hopefully the video works too. He has definitely grown a lot! :)
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